This is my story:
I haven’t always loved the beauty of natural hair. I must admit, I was one of those “My hair is too long and I don’t want to look crazy” kind of girls addicted to the relaxer. I used to talk to this guy that wore his hair in twists and he just looked so sexy and I always wanted to try them on my hair but since I wasn’t natural I couldn’t. Prior to my 21st birthday I made the decision to cut my hair into a Halle Barry pixie style. After the cut, I started to hear about the potential health effects of relaxers and decided that if I was going to go natural now was the time; I was NOT going to do the big chop when my hair was to my shoulders! I loved my health more than the sleek look. At this point my hair was chopped off and the transition was easy. I wore braids until it was long enough to cut off the relaxed part and rock my afro. I received many compliments from men, women and most surprisingly Caucasian strangers. It was a great feeling and I was happy to be natural and wear the twists I had been dying to try out.
I’ve been very lucky to not have had any traumatic experiences going natural. However, I have received the occasional odd look followed with the “I will never go around nappy headed” comment from the chemically influenced. This may bother others, but after all of my mother’s “loving” criticisms of my hair anything anyone else has to say just rolls off my back.
I think the best part of being natural is my personal growth experience. Being natural truly gives you perspective on what makes you beautiful and while going through that short/in-between stage you realize it’s not your hair that makes you beautiful. I finally started to understand what people meant when they said they were free. Free to walk out the door without checking my hair 50 times in the mirror, free to leave the house without a comb, free to walk around without make-up or other cosmetics that you think you have to have, or just free to be who you are and ok/not really caring about people who can’t or won’t except you for any reason; it’s a great feeling. I gained a confidence about myself that people see and respect and tell me they wish they had.
The only negatives are that I can’t get my hair wet(so many people think once your natural you can go out in the rain->NOT TRUE) and in the summer, if it’s too hot, I can’t wear my hair straight because it willswell up from sweating and I will look like a fluffy troll doll.
The biggest factor that keeps me natural is the versatility. When I was relaxed, I mainly wore curls or a flat wrap, but with natural hair I twist my hair one week, untwist it for a curly look the next week, and have a looser curl the third week. I just created three different looks in a fraction of the time it takes to create three different styles for relaxed hair each week. I also love that in the morning I can simply apply some oil to my hair, play with it a little bit and be out the door in minutes. I can straighten my hair with a flat iron, I can wear ponytails, I can wear styles galore, the possibilities are endless!
People used to tell me that once I was natural I had a whole new community of sista's that were embracing of the natural beauty and more open than those that were relaxed. I didn't believe it, but it's true. When I see another woman who is natural I speak and say hey girl I love your fro' or sometimes they beat me no matter how my hair is looking and say I love your natural hair but I am always greeted with a smile! Now let's go to the relaxed girls, hey girl I love your hair-> sometimes it was like they just knew they were the stuff and did a brief thanks with a swish of their locks or some didn't even speak at all. Not to say that all women with relaxers are like this. I just started noticing who smiled back and who was more open to uplifting someone even if they didn't recieve a compliment back and it was more natural women than relaxed. I think it's because going through your natural journey you learn to respect and appreciate others a little more. This is just my own observation**
I canhumbly and with confidence say that I am beautiful. Not because of cosmetic enhancements but because of my beauty that radiates from within and can’t be mimicked or reproduced by the stroke of a makeup brush.
I’ve been very lucky to not have had any traumatic experiences going natural. However, I have received the occasional odd look followed with the “I will never go around nappy headed” comment from the chemically influenced. This may bother others, but after all of my mother’s “loving” criticisms of my hair anything anyone else has to say just rolls off my back.
I think the best part of being natural is my personal growth experience. Being natural truly gives you perspective on what makes you beautiful and while going through that short/in-between stage you realize it’s not your hair that makes you beautiful. I finally started to understand what people meant when they said they were free. Free to walk out the door without checking my hair 50 times in the mirror, free to leave the house without a comb, free to walk around without make-up or other cosmetics that you think you have to have, or just free to be who you are and ok/not really caring about people who can’t or won’t except you for any reason; it’s a great feeling. I gained a confidence about myself that people see and respect and tell me they wish they had.
The only negatives are that I can’t get my hair wet(so many people think once your natural you can go out in the rain->NOT TRUE) and in the summer, if it’s too hot, I can’t wear my hair straight because it willswell up from sweating and I will look like a fluffy troll doll.
The biggest factor that keeps me natural is the versatility. When I was relaxed, I mainly wore curls or a flat wrap, but with natural hair I twist my hair one week, untwist it for a curly look the next week, and have a looser curl the third week. I just created three different looks in a fraction of the time it takes to create three different styles for relaxed hair each week. I also love that in the morning I can simply apply some oil to my hair, play with it a little bit and be out the door in minutes. I can straighten my hair with a flat iron, I can wear ponytails, I can wear styles galore, the possibilities are endless!
People used to tell me that once I was natural I had a whole new community of sista's that were embracing of the natural beauty and more open than those that were relaxed. I didn't believe it, but it's true. When I see another woman who is natural I speak and say hey girl I love your fro' or sometimes they beat me no matter how my hair is looking and say I love your natural hair but I am always greeted with a smile! Now let's go to the relaxed girls, hey girl I love your hair-> sometimes it was like they just knew they were the stuff and did a brief thanks with a swish of their locks or some didn't even speak at all. Not to say that all women with relaxers are like this. I just started noticing who smiled back and who was more open to uplifting someone even if they didn't recieve a compliment back and it was more natural women than relaxed. I think it's because going through your natural journey you learn to respect and appreciate others a little more. This is just my own observation**
I canhumbly and with confidence say that I am beautiful. Not because of cosmetic enhancements but because of my beauty that radiates from within and can’t be mimicked or reproduced by the stroke of a makeup brush.
**Tell me what your journey has been. What are the positive and negatives you’ve experienced?**
Below are some of the styles I wear regularly while natural:
Hey sista Leia, you are a naturally beautiful sista.
ReplyDeleteMy story is a little similar to yours. I am in my 50’s and at this point in my life, I don’t have any concerns about wearing makeup, how my hair look and so on. I believe, once we become more mature in accepting who we are as a Black Woman, we stop trying to be something we’re not.
I grew up watching the elderly women in my family wearing wigs; one big influence was my mother. She would not leave the house without putting on a wig, and had a wig for every outfit. She had hair, but too lazy to tend to it? One day she left the house in a hurry, shortly afterward she came a running back breathing heavily. Startling the family, we thought something drastic had happened. MA! WHAT’S WRONG!??? Pfft! Well, you guessed it…she forgot her “hat”. Perms were more harsh back then, so on a good day she’d get her hair pressed and curled then put her wig back on.
I grew up being influences and impressed by my mother’s versatility. Low-and-behold in spite of having a head full of my own hair, I began wearing perms, jeri curls, wigs, weaves, quick weaves, braided extensions, you name it, I wore it. Even short cuts if a perm took my hair out.
Not only was I not happy with my naturally God given hair(s), but I was wearing makeup foundations, acrylics, gels and fake fingernails, and ALL THOSE THINGS THAT MADE ME HIDE MY TRUE IDENTITY. Sadly, much of my money spent while hiding my true identity went to a community of a people that cared less about the community in which I lived.
Today, I no longer alter my appearance. I love looking at the natural me. Every day I have a greater respect of who I am, and not once do I look back or miss who I was. I may ask myself why I did it, but I only conclude that it is how I was taught, I knew nothing better, par for the course for most African American women, more so today. And yes, my dear mom torn between perms and wigs til this day, (the perm takes her hair out, she reverts to wigs) will never conform to wearing her natural hair to display her naturally seasoned beauty. Nevertheless, I love my dear mom.
~Yvonne~
Hello Yvonne,
ReplyDeleteThank you for taking the time to share your story with me! I love the part "Sadly, much of my money spent while hiding my true identity went to a community of a people that cared less about the community in which I lived." It is so true! I think if we took a deeper look at who is selling us products and their true drive for selling us the product we might spend a lot less money on items we don't really need.
As a stylist I was always taught to just SELL them a product. I have taken a more honest approach in that I only suggest products I have worked with and truly think would be beneficial for that particular client. If I don't have the product to sell i will gladly tell them where they can find it instead of suggesting something for the sake of a sale.
Thank you again for your comments Beautiful Sista!